It is all catching up!
For all of you who think that I am invincible, this is my blog where I am going to whine it up like a big baby!
We all know those people, and forgive me if you are one of them, who are always complaining about how busy they are. And no matter how busy YOU are, they are always busier! It is like telling a maternity or delivery story, where they always trump you with how much “worse” theirs was! They are annoying, and I hope that I don’t come across that way. But if I do, TOO BAD, because I am going to whine anyway!
I can not believe how burnt out I am! The last week I have thought more than once, “What on earth I am thinking?!” I had a recovery week a couple of weeks ago with my training. This is an easier week in the middle of hard training to re-group and get ready to hit it hard again the following week. For me, it made me realize that I am nuts all of the other weeks! I love the training, it is the waking up at 4 am part that I don’t love. And the 6 1/2 hours of sleep a night that isn’t enough. And the being tired all day long because I am not sleeping enough and beating the crap out of my body! Needless to say, this week of training my focus was a little squabbally!
My clientele with my emotional work has jumped dramatically and I am loving it. But because it is new, I haven’t found the rhythm yet. I have been feeling disorganized and overwhelmed with my own disorganization. Fortunately I love what I do!!!! I get in the room with them, and our focus is to balance the energy. So incredibly refreshing!
James was gone last weekend. I entertained the kids the whole weekend and had a blast. I actually wasn’t even that tired, and usually I am after filling a weekend with activities. I do this so that they don’t think about Jay being gone. And in a way, they look forward to him leaving, knowing it is a party for them filled with sleepovers, friends, cousins and treats! This softens the blow of Jay being gone. Plus, I do stuff that he doesn’t always want to do with me.
When he got home, I was really glad to see him. I didn’t realize how much I had missed him. I was in the shower one morning and realized that he was leaving in just a few days for New Zealand. I cried. Then I cried some more. I guess I am just now realizing what it will be like this summer. I have done this before, and the circumstances were 1,000,000 harder!!! I figured this year would be a breeze. The only thing I didn’t account for, was how much I LOVE HIM and how much I WILL MISS HIM!!!
Most people see this as me being on my own with my kids and running the home. But for me, it is about being away from my very best friend! I am always comforted when I think of the many families out there who live the way we will…Dad gone. Some dads travel for work, or just leave their family for good. And then, of course, we have our precious soldiers. They leave, for who knows how long, miss baby’s being born, birthdays, everything! What I am doing, is NOTHING compared to that…
Skype is such a great thing! We all get to stare at his big, bushy beard (which I think is hilarious and I love!) and talk as long as we want!!! What a blessing!!!
I decided on Friday that my life is out of balance. Getting up at 4 am, working a part-time job (while tending to my kids in the house at the same time), babysitting, training for an ironman, household chores, etc. isn’t really working for me. I need to come up with a better system. What I really need to do is just re-vamp MY ENERGY and have a better focus.
When I do my Ironman May 5, it will be one of the greatest things I have ever done! I actually can not wait for this incredible event!!! I race March 31 in Oceanside, and that will be a good little reminder on the way of how much I LOVE this sport!!! Then after that Ironman, I am going to do nothing!!! That isn’t totally true, but anything I do will be easier! I can go to the gym every morning for 1 1/2 hours, but not get up at 4 to do it and be home before 8:30 am! It is going to be so awesome!
I am going to stay up late, sleep in, eat tons of watermelon, barbecue every night! I can just take it easy with the kids and focus on them. I can relax and not stress about responsibility while Jay is gone. Nothing has to be done a certain way and I can just do things however I feel like that day. I might have a smoothie for dinner every night…so easy. 
Even if that is all an illusion, it is a great one to keep me going now! I have decided that this week I will get more sleep and regain my motivation. Maybe I should take caffeine pills everyday…ha ha ha! Just kidding! Jay leaves Tuesday, and I will go to bed every night at 8:30 pm while he is gone. I am going to strike that match again and get that fire going.
On a random note, I have been making some killer recipes this week! I got them off of cleaneatingmag.com (clean eating magazine website). There is some CRAZY awesome stuff! There are categories to choose from, like cheap meals, 20 min meals, etc. They are rated and there are comments so you can read about them. Everything I have made, I double so I can eat the leftovers for lunch the next day. Every recipe I have cooked is normal foods (not freaky health stuff) and to die for. I am obsessed!
So this is the week! I am going to write my sob story in my journal now, then do nothing for the rest of the day (aside from care for the other 6 people in this house, he he he!). Then tomorrow, a new week of motivation!!! I got this, for shizzle!!!
Smooches!
Sunny Jo Mama
